Finally moved out got a boyfriend....(OH MY GOD I THOUGHT SHE WAS GAY!!...shut up)
 

got my shit together

High school is great

 

life is great

 

Hit me up

 

I miss my little livejournal posse

 

 

fuck  summer school

fuck losing people

fuck people leaving

fuck being tired

fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkman

It's hella summer... its been pretty good so far ive been attached to chelsea hip.

went to spokane

hung out everyday since summer

I fucking hate this house i never really got it when sam was like i CANT come home but im begining to get it

they just fucking yell and favor sams bro i wanna fucking vomit on them they fucking suck...

whatever.

summer school in not so many days...fuck

A - Available?
indeed

B - Best Friend(s)?
sam chelsea



C - CRUSH?
weird ones



D - DOGS NAME?
not digginon dogs



E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO?
chelsea and sam

F - Favorite Food?
fries dont forget the ranch


G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS?
GUMMY ASS ON MY TEETH? no thnx



H - HOMETOWN?
Cali Deep so cal



I - IF YOU COULD MOVE WOULD YOU?
not now but later



J - JOB?
no



K - KIDS?
not for me i just went through learninig of preg o ness n health no way



L - LONGEST CAR RIDE?
spokompton?



M- Favorite Milk flavor?
soy

N- number of siblings?
000

O - ONE WISH?
more friends



P - PHOBIA(S)?
africanbees


Q - FAVORITE QUOTE?
I dunno....

R - REASON TO SMILE?
PARADE MAHJONg

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD?
THIS ISHOW WE DO

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP?
11:07

U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME?
i like rodeo grls

V - VEGETABLES YOU LOVE?
cucumbers

W - WORST HABIT?
bitning nailas


X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD?
teeth andankle



Y - YOUR MOM?
too much to handle



Z - ZODIAC SIGN?
pisces- able toget addictionseasily

 

MIA was great.
Isabel's party was great
paige is great
Chelsea sam and aut are great
and ROLLER DERBY IS SO MOTHER FUCKIN TIGHT!!!

i got silver spandex and i spraypainted my helmet silver and my name  is HEFF HER UP

and my number is 009
:)

fuck sam's dad he tells me i dont help out enough when really...i loaded a dumpster for 3 HOURS ON SATURDAY. i came home early today to do chores so i could leave to night and hes like you have to wake up brandn because he is 13 and cant wake his own fucking self FUCK OFF

Lets  keeep its shooort and siimple.

FUCK.

worst mood of my life...and since this is the closest thing to a journal...ill just vent.

Paige...you have disapeared.

I really wanted to go to the fountains today...i got out of school at...1 26 and was ready but sam autry and chelsea wernt...by the time they were ready it was to late because i have a fucking CHOIR PERFORMANCE......

i know i shouldnt be mad...they both apologized. but i am.

So i wsz like i think ihave enough time to go eat down town...then i called everyon and no one answered.

joy.

my mom got a space...

a MYspace...

im a fatty slacker..

i do roller derby TIGHT AS FUCK

i lost my gloves on trimet my Dboat gloves...shitty

way to rushed in the morning

ive been up since 4 30

refuse to do homework

refuse to tell kashi how i  really feel :(

just cant wait till summer.

fuck        
need more friend.s

AW FUCK  YEAH!!!!!!!!!

IM DOING ROLLER DERBY IM GUNNA BE A HARDCORE ASS BITCH!!
 
AND DRAGON BOAT!!!

FOOL ILL FUCKING BE SO BUFF

:D:D:D:D:D

in other news...i applied at subway and 31 flavors :)

been extra great lately

MIA is soo bomb and i actually am going now :)

Atmosphere on monday SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

hellz yee hit me up!

 So much for sobriety.

I did start saving my money though.

I really wanna move out.


Dont know if its a better idea to go out with the whole emancipation thing and get my own place or just secretly live with peeps till im 18.

school isnt as frustrating.

Maybe thats just because i havnt seen my grades in a week...

Need some awesome people to kick it with,,, girls. guys that are dorky or  just anyone tight.

I wanna use the word reluctant....as an emotion but i dont really know what it means.

I like writing livejournals only at the down town library. seems the only safe place.

i really wanna move with sam. she needs a job soon and maybe it will happen.

i really wanna move in with paige and chelsea too although that coulde end badly

talk at me.

maybe i should get a job too...

any thoughts?

EH,


this might sound just really dumb...

i think im gunna quit drinking, smoking, etc.

im almost failing math.

getting Ds on tests in chem And simply not caring.

I dont feel close to many recently.

I spend money rapidly.

ive realized majority of my friends are relying on drugs and alcohol getting drunk every or close to every night.

I want to go somewhere with my life.

Being a pisces i have heard i have A high suseptability to addiction.

thats the last thing i need.....ever.

Jeremy is drinking bleach water just to have a clean UA

People are out drinking their problems away...i was too.

A girl beligerant as fuck puked all over the max...cops came it was ugly.

i dont want that.

Im intelligent.

i just wish everyone wasnt slipping away from me.....

ha or maybe its just me slipping away from them.

this just fucking blows.

i havnt stopped crying all day......

I really feel like i need to stop being so rediculous with my life.....

I really have a weak will power and it seems to be getting weaker.

Girls are really just confusing me and im just feeling hella pressure from everywhere

I came to the conclusion that maybe i should steer away from the drugs and alcohol and then realized...ALL my friends

just wanna drink smoke etc.

I guess i just need a bigger better stronger will power... because i love my friends...but i just need to graduate.

getting myself in deeper then i thought.

feeling a little lost.

 And a happy birthday to me.
in a limo...oooo here we go.
I was a spooky cat.
a a spooky mustachio man.
sammi got me some stunna shades
and

AUTRY GOT ME TICKETS TO THE FUCKING ROLLER DERBY!!!!

SO I JUMPED ON HER FACE
den we fell.

keep in mind this is before the liquor even got in our hands....
it was a great night.!
and chelsea surprised me...i cried so hard.
 great.

HA PPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


what a way to kick off a 16 i got a half galllllllllllllloooooooooooon of vdk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mucholove!!
I miss allyall

going to outdooor schooooooooooool.

met a real pretty girl by the name of Sayla     :DDDDDDDDDDD

My birthday is tomorrow

ill be a weasley lil 16EE bopper.

gah i want my chelsea back.

Spring break in like a week or something.

before spring break i  have to make a speech.

and write 50 facts about flesh eating bacteria. for health.....

 

in the time between now and when i last posted i started feeling REALLY down...
I feel like i cant pick myself up.
im not up to par with my school work and im beginning to not care
i found out my moms doing coke again and i really dont feel close to anyone.
it is starting to eat at me,

I hate to see beatiful gir;s fucking cry.

its so depressing because they dont realize how fuckig great they are.

jill for instance fucking beautiful and horribly depressed i want nothing more than to  fucking be there and make things better.
among others to i mean i just want to show how valuable they are.

fuuuuuuck.

Im so pissed.

Yeah i love when girls just lead you the fuck on.

NOT

so ive been trying to do this thing were i go for girls my own age...because the last like 40 crushes ive had have been on people 18+

So ive been working on this and all thegirls that i have made an effort to get to know and started to like have totally been fucking awkward and weird.
EXAMPLE#1

Kashi: cute girl freshman, said she liked me and we were gunna be "valentines" then on valentines i wanted to have a nice lunch with her and she decided to be with her friends and act ...strictly friendly with me and we havnt spoke about it since...I know she liked me and I liked her but she just got awkward as fuck.
#2
Maya stoner. totally bomb girl sophmore. in my chem class talked and hung out and laughed all the time. i saw her down town the other day and it was AWKWARD AS FUCK. ...EXCUSE ME IM HEFF AND IM NOT AWKWARD OK! and these girls are just awkward as fuck its annoying.
#3 (most recent)
So i met this punk girl named malea couple weeks ago at a show shes pretty tight and i started seeing her around and shit. Last night she was at the show ALL FLIRTY ON ME. like...throwin me on the ground and straddling me as shit. (I THOUGHT IT WAS IN THE BAG FOR SURE)
and she was like begging me to go to her house :) so i did thinking yay tight this girl is hecka bomb....as soon as she sobered up. it was so fucking awkward. she stopped being all flirty with me and was like distancing herself from me and was like "you can sleep in the guestroom night"

WTF WTF FUCK TEENAGE GIRLS!!! FUCK 18+ girls because they dont want a relation ship with a 15 (almost 16 YAY) year old. its obnoxious.

The soap bubbles track through the house
I think there's some between my toes

I look at you
I smile
You see me
Through false eyes

Your mind is altered
Though i failed to see at the time
Under the impression that you actually wanted to spend time with me

A punch to the nose, a push into a wall
Right outside my bedroom

The coke they discovered in you pocket
The smirk on your face as they lowered you into the car

Happy 11th birthday
Police cars
Flashing lights
I blind myself

No birthday cakes
No birthday songs
It's hard to think
My brain's busy

You brought me here
And betrayed me

To late mom
Damage is done

I want to lay here for ever



She opens the door to let me in
The aroma of cheap top ramen and kittens
Fill the room

I look to her,
Leather jacket, sagging khakis, Nikes and a great 90s shirt
Dark skinned with large lips
Its almost intoxicating

She smiles and leads me upstairs to her room
Where my hands grasp the sega controller
My mind is lost in the adventures
Of sonic and tails

We giggle and drink tea
We hear the door slam and a distant yell for our attention
Brooke's home, and Trevor, and Avram

Dance party!
We play cheesy 90s music and act like
Fools

Looking to Lupe with a fatty grin on her face
My heads spinning from all the dancing
And my mind is pounding from the music blaring
Still thinking of how it smells like cats

My mouth is dry
So i go to quench it and end up back upstairs

I wake up to the smell of pancakes and coffee


She walks me to the bus stop where we exchange hugs that
Could go on forever
And the 75 takes me back to my humble abode.

yee lupes\brookes
i love

montana come here now

happy.

txtmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

yee lupes\brookes